the condom got lost in my hair
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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