just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
