It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
