I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
