i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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