i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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