i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
