seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
