Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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