I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
