she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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