tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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