Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
