Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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