He disabled his match.com account in front of me
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
