tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
