I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
These tits shall not be calmed
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
