well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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