Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
