haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
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I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
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Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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