Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
