Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize