I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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