Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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