Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
what day is it and did you see me today?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
