Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
