true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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