I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
