I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
