Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
