eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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