I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
