I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
