I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize