You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
