problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
