And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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