I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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