Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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