Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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