I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
