Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
