I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
