I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
it's great music for shaving your balls
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
