Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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