I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
