I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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