I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
