that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
