the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
