I hate your face
you guys were way drunker than both of me
grandma shit on top of the toilet
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
