Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
