I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
