After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
