Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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