Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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