My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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