I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
