There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
