He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
