I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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