He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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