so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
