The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
