I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
