Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
