Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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