and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Drunk is not a location!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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