Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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